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Toddlers scoring goals, Alex Ferguson’s chewing gum up for sale and cheating men leaving the scene of the crime in their jocks, all in an average day’s work on JOE.

Now there’s a sentence we thought we’d never write...

We’re all a little fed up of the crap weather at this stage, but it’s gone so bad in the west that a local radio station is broadcasting a special mass to pray for an improvement in weather conditions.